AthletiNation

 Readers of my first Web log,

I see your comments and I value your opinions and I appreciate that you take a few minutes of your day to read my “new” blog but what I write is not a democracy.  I’m not campaigning or prostituting my views to please the masses in fact I challenge you to NOT read my blog.  Okay, okay, maybe my tone is overly harsh and I didn’t mean one word I said but I am on a plane right now, flying back to Los Angeles for the second part of the U.S. National Team Camp as we prepare for our rival, Mexico, on February 6^th in Houston, and I’m incapable of being my normal, sweet self as I inhale an unusually strong urine cake from the back of this Southwest airbus.  I guess that’s my punishment for being able to choose my own seat.   D*mn you free will!

Wait.  Hold on.  One second.  My eyes are watering.
 

Anyway, here’s the David Beckham’s honest truth about voicing your views on the content of my blog:  I like to come up with my own ideas and if I can’t come up with my own I will invariably steal yours and make them my own.  In fact, I feel a tingle of inspiration right now and I dub thee:

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF MY LIFE, THE LIFE I LEAD, AS I HAVE LIVED IT

January 19^th, 2008

We, as in the U.S., play Sweden this evening in an international friendly and my rituals for us to have success have to be attended to:

1. Breakfast – One bowl of granola with yogurt, fresh berries, and a banana, one piece of toast with blackberry jam, a giant spoonful of too-watery egg whites with a dash of pepper, and a few glasses of water.

2. Crossword – Pretend to be smarter than I am by trying to tackle a New York Times puzzle, answer the ones I know (maybe four to five), fill in the rest with random letters, tell people I finished it, and only show them the final product from a distance.

3. Pre-game Meal – Pasta, chicken, salad.  Mix everything together for what appears to be an inedible creation but revel in how it really is yummy to the tummy.  Top it off with a delicious chocolate chip cookie and of course, lots and lots of water.

4. Shower and Shave – About an hour prior to leaving for the stadium, I get my iPod and speakers, kick out some tunes, de-robe, and serenade my mini-shampoo and conditioner bottles under the warm, cascading water shooting out of the “always better than my shower head at home” hotel shower head.  Then I try to shave like they do in all of the razor commercials:  in one fell swoop.  It never works and I end up looking like…like, a less handsome version of myself.  I can’t think of anything clever right now because some passenger just opened and closed the bathroom door and a stiff breeze of urinal cake is wafting by my face.

5. On the Bus/Before the Game– I have to sit towards the back on the left side near the window and I have to tie my left cleat before my right.  I can’t explain why and I don’t know when it started.

After much deliberation and flawless execution of my rituals, the final result:  U.S. 2 – Sweden 0

Thank you very much.

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